


Red Lines Indicate Life and Death

by fleurs du mal (shinsou)



Category: Gintama
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Fluff, GinTsu Week 2017, Humor, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 13:19:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9659129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinsou/pseuds/fleurs%20du%20mal
Summary: Gintoki’s two red dead-fish eyes face two lines and he decides to be an asshole with a death wish.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for GinTsu week 2017, day 4: Lady Death.

                There was no screaming or anything. No yelling “Fool!” or “Idiot!”, or even “Pervert!”, which happened relatively too often, given the fact that she allowed him to do **** and ******* to her. No, there was nothing but the pain and the feeling of a dull kunai stuck in his forehead. It was a first, having Tsukuyo not taken proper care of her weapons. She simply stood there, a few feet away from him, blushing but pale at the same time, very nervous and kind of out of breath. Gintoki blinked a few times as he stared at her with his dead-fish eyes, ignoring the blood that ran down his forehead.

                “Now, what was that for, Tsukki?” He himself wasn’t sure if he used that name to fawn upon her or to annoy her. His hand mindlessly reached for the object sticking from his head, very much used to this routine. What he pulled out of his forehead surprised him – it was not a kunai but a long, thin, white and rather round object with something like a small window showing two very clear red lines.

                Two.

                Red.

                Lines.

                The White Demon was too mortified to breathe. He was certain she would be the death of him, but she would kill him now, surely, she would. While there was no better way to die than in the arms of the woman you love, dying by her hands was a bit different. _AND I AM WAY TOO YOUNG!_ his thoughts ran.

                Gintoki should not have ignored the signs he had noticed – Tsukuyo’s face grimacing at the first drag from her pipe for the day just after she had finally managed to make his lips leave her skin. He shouldn’t have blamed his missing strawberry milk on Kagura as it seemed to disappear only when The Courtesan of Death was visiting and her mouth tasted suspiciously too much like his (although he took pride in thinking it was like that because he kissed her too often and too well). Dammit, if only his state of denial had not been so almighty and powerful, he could have expected this and avoided being the first and probably the last man in the universe who got wounded by a pregnancy test.

                Gintoki could feel her trying to keep her composure while she waited for his reaction speechless.

                “And this happens just when I was thinking we need to talk.” He said with a serious expression and a serious death wish.

                Nothing could slow down the thoughts that ran through Tsukuyo’s mind. He doesn’t want it. I have to find the doctor in Yoshiwara that takes care of matters such as this one. I can do this. I know a thousand courtesans who have done this. No. He could have probably known about this. He means me. Her heart sank. Her trembling body stilled as if life had suddenly left her. Her instincts were what registered Gintoki moving closer to her.

                “Get away from me.” Tsukuyo said though her gritted teeth.

                “I won’t even if you say no.”

                “Say no to what?” The woman spoke back before she could think.

                “This.” The silver-haired man, infamous for his sweet tooth and love for pachinko, drinking and a certain deadly courtesan reached for something hidden in the insides of his kimono and fell on his knees. He took out a small velvet box and opened it, revealing its content.

                “I hope the old lady downstairs doesn’t kick me out because I used at least three rents on this.” A delicate silver band adorned with a large oval moonstone was nestled amongst the white silk lining of the box. “Just don’t stress too much, it’s bad for you and the baby. Smoking is also bad. Will you marry me?”

                And there it was, the kunai in his head.

                “You are what’s bad for me and the baby! You have no idea of the things I thought!” The courtesan of Death punched him again and again, even after she mumbled a quiet “yes”, even after he slid the silver ring on her finger and kissed it gently. As if she was drunk. _I should probably get used to this, hormones and everything. But there’s no denying I deserve this and I will enjoy every minute of it until my death._

                Dying by the hands of the woman you love couldn’t be that bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted Gintoki to get wounded by a pregnancy test used as a kunai, I'm so sorry.


End file.
